my xmas revelation

Yesterday I had a beautiful Christmas revelation.

I was beating myself up because even after all the Landmark, the nonviolent communication and the transpersonal philosophy, I was still experiencing some hurt over a little comment made by my mother.

For Christ’s sake – how pathetic – and when will I finally be enlightened!

I then imagined myself surrounded by the Xmas chaos, in the midst of screaming kids, barking dogs, people complaining about kids, dogs, and people complaining about kids and dogs. And people complaining about people complaining about kids and dogs. And there is me in the midst of it all – serene, calm, totally at peace with the world – present, but not engaging in all this icky messiness.

And I just started to laugh. I mean, as if.

I just had to stop writing and laugh again: Ho ho ho!

And then I thought We are spiritual being having the human experience. And I actually got it. I am just having the human experience. And just like a Contiki tour, this experience will include joy and pain, satisfaction – and so many regrets. Ho ho!

I am going to feel feelings – all the bloody time! I am going to try and grasp onto some of the fun feelings and give myself a bloody great rope burn even though I know better!

That’s what humans do!

I am going to run away from pain, even though I know that pain cannot be run from and that I am running in circles and will eventually trip over the pain and stub my toe and really have something to cry about.

Sometimes, being human hurts.

And sometimes I will cry. Sometimes I will curse. Sometimes I will blame others for my predicaments. And then I will get exasperated with myself for not being more enlightened.  And then I will remember all over again, and I will laugh. Ho ho!

What a ride!

Ho ho ho – Merry Bloody Xmas!!

Snail
Eli Duke. Snail. CC BY-SA 2.0

a bird in flight

a bird in flight that leaves no trace –
the touch of knowing does not grab,
but leaves things as they are

traceless bird –
to know you,
& leave you as you are

Source

“Like a bird in flight that leaves no trace, the touch of knowing does not grab but leaves things as they are.” (p 14.).

Puhakka, Kaisa. (2000). An invitation to authentic knowing. In Tobin Hart, Peter L Nelson & Kaisa Puhakka (Eds.), Transpersonal knowing: Exploring the horizon of consciousness. (pp. 11-31). New York: NY. State University of New York Press.

the old ones sing

the old ones
sing of
long ago

now –
as the
ash and
embers of our
fire
thread their
way to
sky and
stars

now –
I am
earthbound and of the
heavens

the old ones
sing

now –

In 2008 I attended a Women’s conference. The keynote and many activities were provided by the elders and supporters of the Kapululangu Aboriginal Women’s Law and Culture Centre. One evening some of us had paint up and danced a traditional dance. Then the elders sang around the campfire and we watched the ash and embers rise into the sky to join the stars.

transpersonal: a personal definition

trans•per•son•al 

(trænsˈpɜr sə nl)

1. extending beyond or transcending the personal. 

My hand is stiff and clammy from gripping the phone. I take a deep breath & I wonder, ‘what is like to be her?’

2. being or involving an altered state of consciousness. 

That afternoon, sitting on the front step beside an empty tab of Panadeine Forte & the dregs of a beer I feel the gut punch of her rage, loneliness, & fear. From miles & years away I hear her voice, quiet and calm like I have never known her to be: I do the best I can Rowy. That’s all I can do. 

Source 

transpersonal. (2010). Random House Kernerman Webster’s College dictionary. Retrieved from https://www.thefreedictionary.com/transpersonal

our sun

1.

at the

heart of our

solar system, a

yellow dwarf star, a

hot ball of

glowing gases

2.

its

gravity

holds the

solar system

together –

keeping

everything from the

biggest planets to the

smallest particles of debris in

its

orbit

3.

the sun

orbits the

center of the

milky way galaxy,

bringing the

planets,

asteroids,

comets and

other objects

along

4.

connections and

interactions

between

the sun and

earth

drive our

seasons,

ocean currents,

weather,

climate,

radiation belts and

aurorae

5.

the sun

made

life on earth possible,

providing the

warmth and

energy that

forms the

basis of many

food chains

6.

the sun and the

rest of the

solar system

formed from a

giant, rotating cloud of

gas and

dust, a

solar nebula about

4.5

billion

years

ago

7.

our sun accounts for

99.8% of the

mass of the

entire solar system

8.

the sun will

someday

run out of

energy

9.

when

the sun

starts to die, it

will swell so

big that it

will engulf

mercury and venus and

maybe even

earth

found poem from beautiful original material retrieved from the NASA website in 2017. NASA. Sun: In depth. https://solarsystem.nasa.gov/planets/sun/indepth

We the forest

We are walking in the forest. It is cold and softly raining, but we are well dressed for the weather and the dense canopy above reduces that gentle rain to a fine mist. I am feeling happy and carefree, I want to skip and jump. You seem contemplative, quiet. After a few minutes we settle together into a calm and companionable silence.

The path ahead diverts around the buttress roots of one ancient tree. We stop at this giant, and I step over the buttress and lean in, pressing my palms against the damp bark. The bark is rough to touch. Close up I can see the rain seeping down the channels in the rough bark, to be delivered gently to the soil and the roots below. Standing here, I imagine those roots reaching down and down into the earth. The roots hold the tree to the earth, and in the process hold the soil to the hillside. The roots of this tree and the forest around it support the tree, support the earth, support you and me.

Deep underground, the roots of this tree also take nutrients from the soil. These nutrients are pulled upwards. They are pulled to the very top of the tree by the evaporation of water from the leaves. The tree is selecting elements from the soil and using them to build more tree. But the roots of this tree are also communicating with other trees nearby, sharing nutrients and chemical messages in a two-way collaborative network. This tree and the trees nearby are not just building themselves. They are building the forest. My palms are on the tree, touching the rough bark. But my mind is down with the roots and wonders whether ‘tree’ is just a human construct and there is only forest.

I turn my face to you. You are leaning backwards on the part of the forest we call ‘this tree.’ Your eyes are closed and you are smiling a gentle smile. Your warm breath makes a little mist as the moisture condenses in the cold air.

You and I, we are both breathing. We breathe in. We smell the damp and the earth and the forest. To me, the air smells green. To you, the air smells clean. We breathe in the air and take the oxygen that the forest has released in the process of photosynthesis. We breathe out.  The forest breathes our breath and in the process of photosynthesis it takes the carbon and creates more of itself. Some of this carbon is shared from tree to tree via the roots. The carbon that started in our bodies will nurture the entire forest.

We breathe the forest. The forest breathes we.

My palms are on the tree, I am breathing in my body but my mind is far above and below with the exchange of carbon and oxygen and I wonder whether ‘you’ and ‘I’ are just human constructs and there is only forest.

There is only forest.

We, the forest.

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